Innocence lost
by Rueky Mitem
Summary: I've never seen the outside, I don't understand what lies beyond these cold corridors, but it drives me crazy with the desire to know. A first person story about how Malik Ishtar went from the innocent boy we saw, and became the cold dark man we know. rating is T for violence, though it may go up to M when the initiation scene starts and Mariku appears. Please enjoy !
1. Chapter 1

**New story! man I am on a roll! hah, this one will be another first person story, so it's going to get really detailed. (I hope) I wanted to write a story that tells what happened that finally drove Malik from being the cute and innocent boy we saw, to the cold dark man he became, aside from the initiation. This will be really childish and some things might get a bit annoying. Let me know if I'm making him TOO innocent.**

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It's warm. I mewl and snuggle into my blankets while trying to beat the need to wake up. I feel so comfortable right now, and pull the covers up over my head. The only sounds are the small crackles of the candle on the desk beside my bed, and my shallow breaths. I don't wanna get up...

I don't get to doze long though, after just a few minutes, my door opens and I wince and shiver as someone pulls my blankets all the way off. I squeak and look up to see my sister. "Isis... no, I wanna sleep..." I complain and curl up in a ball. Isis scoffs and shakes me. "Get up Malik, you can't sleep all day." She replies. I groan and sit up she grins. "Go get some breakfast, it'll help you wake up." she says, I nod roboticly and rub my eyes. "Ok." I mumble as she leaves. I slowly get to my feet and make my way over to a large chest sitting against the wall, when I open it a tiny bit of dust drifts into the air, I sneeze twice before grabbing a clean tunic.

I look around for a comb and spot it fallen off my desk, on the floor. i pick it up and begin to tug it through my hair, it's a simple thing, a little black comb no special designs, nothing like that. Simple, but it's special too, it's one of the few things I have that have come from the outside world. I treasure it, like I treasure every other thing from the outside world, I've never seen the outside before so these things are very valuable to me.

Finally I'm presentable and I step out into the dim corridors that make up my home, it's really dark, even with the many torches lining the walls. I shiver and walk out, the floor is worn smooth so I don't bother wearing shoes and years of living here has made it possible for me to learn how to walk without making noise. It's so quiet, it makes me uneasy, even though I know I'm safe. I start to walk a it faster, occasionally looking over my shoulder, I hate being alone, I feel so vulnerable.

I enter the dining hall and look around, most of everyone has already eaten and left, but I do see my cousins, Palki and Menka. I wave to them before going to sit with them.

"Ugh, so you're awake huh?" Palki makes a face and folds his arms, I stick my tongue out at him and turn to his sister Menka.

"How are you today?" I ask. she smiles and dips her head. "Really good, Mama and I are going outside to get some more cloth, we're running low again." She replies, I stiffen at the word 'outside' but I dont let her see, she probably didn't mean to say it. "That's good, have a good time." I say then look away and take a piece of bread from a filled bowl and begin to eat while Palki and Menka bicker.

Menka and Palki are twins, and they're both ten, a year older than me. They both have dark dark hair and green eyes, but Menka's are lighter, and she's nicer too, Palki and I often get into fights, but they don't get too bad and they don't last long, Menka will always jump in and pull us apart, we both know she's stronger than us, but we don't tell her. I think she likes me better too, she'll always take my side when Palki and I do fight, and I like being with her. Isis laughs and tell me that's good because, apparently I'm betrothed to her, I have no idea what that means and she wont tell me, but I guess it's good.

after I finish eating I listen to my cousins bicker and argue for a few minutes then get bored and sneak off, I need to do my chores anyway. I don't wanna but I know father will be furious if I don't.

I'm just about to enter my room when out of the corner of my eye I see Rishid walking down the hall. I turn and smile, he's my favorite out of everyone here, even though father says that he's adopted, I still think of him as my big brother. "Rishid!" I Call then rush up and give him a hug. He hesitates for a second then wraps one arm around me. "Oh er, good morning Malik. how are you?" he says. I look up at his face and my smile grows. "Very good! how about you?" I ask, he nods then lets go of me, turning to leave. "come play with me later ok?" I ask, he doesn't respond and keeps walking.

I wait a few seconds before going back to my room, Rishid always acts funny like that, I don't really get it but it's ok. Maybe it's because he's 14, Isis said when you reach a certain age, you start acting weird, I guess that's what going on with him.

I brush the thought off and begin my chores, I strip the sheets off my bed and begin washing them in the basin I have in my room, I'm little and the sheets are big so it takes a while for me to wash them but I get it done, after that I take them out into the hall, down a few more then enter a room with many many fireplaces along the walls, I walk over to an empty one and hand my sheets on a rack above the fire to dry.

I rush back to my room and empty the basin, after that I change again because my clothes have gotten wet, then i start to clean out the dust and dirt, I sneeze a few times and it drives me crazy, I don't like to sneeze, it feels weird. once that is done I begin organizing the scrolls that father has me read. They're really boring, all history and stuff but i do read them, sometimes when I see him, he'll quiz me on what I've been supposed to read, so I do, I don't want to face him when he's mad.

Finally I return my sheets to their rightful place and make my bed, smoothing out all the wrinkles and tucking the extra sheet under the mattress. I step back and breathe a sigh of relief, that didn't take too long! I look around and spot what I want, a red rubber ball, another treasure from the outside. I scoop it up then leave to go find Rishid.

I go to his room and find him sitting on his bed reading. I stay in the doorway quietly, I don't want to disturb him, if he wants to come, he'll notice me.

After a while he does look up at me and sets his book down. "Are you busy?" I ask, he sets his book down and shakes his head no. "You need something?" He asks standing and putting the book in a chest. "Oh," I start, "I was wondering if you would come play with me." I smile and show him the ball. He looks at the ball then at me and pauses before nodding. "Alright, but only for a little while." He says.

I gasps and smile before running out of the room, Rishid follows and we both go to the big open room with the hole in the roof. I don't know what it's called, but I really like it, it's big and spacious and there's a good sized hole cut in the roof that lets in sunlight. It's the closest I'll probably ever be to the outside. I turn to Rishid and toss the ball. "Catch it!" I warn him so he doesn't get hurt, he does catch it, easily and grins before kicking the ball hard. I smile and the game begins, we made up a game, each end of the room is a goal, if the ball touches the wall they get a point, you can kick, throw, or hit the ball too get points, the first to reach ten points wins.

I have four points right now, but Rishid has seven, he'll probably win but I don't care, it's just for fun. The ball sails over my head as Rishid kicks it hard and I look back as he scores a point, then the ball rolls off toward some crumbling rocks covered in shadows. "I'll get it!" I say, then cautiously make my way over to the falling rocks, in some places here in the tomb, places are falling apart, most aren't too dangerous, but sometimes we have to seal off whole corridors for good.

I look amongst the rubble for a bit then spot the ball. "Hah found you! you're mine now!" I say, reaching out to grab the ball, I hesitate though as something catches my eye. I look a little to the right and freeze. Just a hair away from my foot, coiled up under a rock is a big black cape cobra. Her hood is raised and she's staring right at me. I feel my blood run cold and fear sweeps over me, if I move she might bite me but if I don't she still might bite me. I gulp and grab the ball slowly, she sits up higher and I wince as she opens her mouth showing off her fangs, a drop of poison dripping off of one. I whimper and decide to gamble and quickly move away from the rocks.

But I'm too slow. I cry out, more in fear than pain as fangs sink into my ankle. I fall and drop the ball, it rolls away while the cobra rears back for another strike. I look back at it and look at it's black eyes. "R-Rishid!" I yelp as I watch the snake, holding as still as possible while it readies for a second strike. I whimper and close my eyes tight, waiting for another bite. It never comes and when I open my eyes I see the cobra, she's pinned to the ground, Rishid's throwing knife lodged deep in it's head.

"Malik!" Rishid calls, I groan and look up as he rushes to my side, I'm finally starting to feel the poison at work. There's a painful burning sensation around my ankle, and it's slowly moving up my leg, the skin around the bite is starting to swell up and it looks purple. I panic and begin to cry as Rishid lays me down in his lap. "Malik, you have to calm down." He orders then tears a piece off from the bottom of his tunic, the burning is now just below my knee and I watch as Rishid ties the cloth tightly around the top of my knee to try and stop the poison from going higher. I can actually see it, turning my blood purple and I look away to keep calm like Rishid said.

He scoops my up into his arms and runs, I cling to him and begin to pant as it's becoming harder to breathe, I feel really hot too. "R-Rishid." I mewl watching his face as he runs, he looks so calm. I try to copy him and close my eyes, trying to breathe.

We enter my room and I grunt softly as he drops me onto my bed. "Rish-..." I stop to breathe and watch as he pulls out a dagger. "Malik," He begins, looking me in the eye. "I need you to be strong and stay calm, this'll hurt but you can do it." He places the dagger about three inches above my knee and unties the cloth. My eyes widen and I grab his sleeve. "No, no no please don't do that!" I cry, but he doesn't listen and slices open the skin, it's deep and it hurts so bad! I throw my head back and scream while tears leap to me eyes, I barely notice Rishid below, trying to suck out the poison.

I try to be brave, but it hurts. even though he's trying to be gentle, every time Rishid begins again I can't help but cry out louder than the last time.

He sucks out the poison about six times before pulling away for good and wiping my blood on his sleeve. "Good job." he murmurs and goes to work wrapping the cut he made. I know he didn't get it all out, I can still feel the burn, not as intense, but it's there, and I can still see a bit of the faint purple blood traveling up my leg, he got most of it out though, I don't think I'll die.

"Rishid..." I call softly, my voice is starting to leave me, it's still hard to breathe, and i can feel the fever getting worse. I open my mouth to call his name again, but my door bangs as it's roughly opened and I jump, my voice finally stops and I look to see my father in the doorway. He looks at me, then at Rishid, then back to me before glaring at Rishid. "What the hell happened?!" He yells grabbing Rishis by the collar of his tunic. I wince and shut my eyes tight, trying to block out the sounds of father screaming at Rishid, then the sound of him hitting my brother.

Eventually it all stops and father leaves. I try to force down the tears that have gathered, I don't want to cry, Rishid told me to be strong. Rishid comes to stand beside me and I slowly open my eyes. For some strange reason, Rishid is glaring down at me, his dagger raised, and just a few inches away from me. I don't dwell on it and start to speak.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I got you into trouble big brother..." I say, it's soft but i think he can hear. Rishid stiffens and lowers the knife. "what did you say?" he asks. I turn my head to face him and try to open my eyes more, I reach my hand out and try to keep breathing. "I said, i'm sorry, it's my fault you got into trouble, I'm sorry big brother..." I gulp down air as soon as the words leave me mouth.

I hear the dagger clatter against the ground. "Brother?" he asks. I nod "I don't care what dad says, you are my brother..." I blink.

Rishid trembles slightly, then grabs my hand with both of his, he starts to cry. "Malik, Malik I'm sorry..." He says. I want to tell him it's not his fault I want to comfort him, but nothing comes out. "Malik, I promise, I'll never let anything happen to you," He hesitates then speaks the word he's never said before. "I promise Brother." then the fever takes me and I fall asleep.

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**Alright how bout that? this is gunna be a chapter story but i have no idea how often I'll update so just, bear with me alright? Thanks I hope you enjoyed if so please favorite and review, if you saw some problems or wanna suggest something, even a scene if you want also review I'll gladly listen. Mk I gotta go now. Bye bye~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2!**

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It takes a few weeks for the poison to clear my body, Rishid stays with me pretty much the whole time, we've gotten really close since the snake bit me. I should thank it, even though it caused a great deal of trouble for my brother. it was just scared, she thought I was gonna hurt her, it was self-defense. I wish it didn't have to happen in the first place though.

I'm all off balance and wobbly when I stand, I've been confined to bed for three weeks and I've been going mad, I don't make a very good invalid. "Just take it slow." Rishid says, I nod but don't really listen and start to walk, it feels good even though my legs are stiff and don't wanna listen. "How do you feel?" He asks, I make it to the door then turn around and grin. "Much better." I reply, then stretch up up up until i hear a satisfying pop come from my spine. Rishid smiles and comes up to me before kneeling down. "Lemme check your leg." He says, hitching up my tunic to examine the scar that's left. I grimace but don't do anything else, he did it to save my life, it's a good scar.

"Looks good." he says then stands up and ruffles my hair. I pull away and fix it. "Rishid, don't!" I whine. he laughs lightly and I can't help but smile. "Well, go on now, there's many others who've been waiting for you." He says, I nod and hug him tightly before turning to leave. "Thank you big brother." I say, then start to run down the halls, searching for my two cousins. You have to be careful when navigating in an old tomb that's starting to crumble and most of the booby traps still work, though there's not too many you have to worry about up in the living quarters, it's when you start to go deeper and lower into the tomb that things get dangerous. I can't help but roll my eyes whenever I think about it, we protect a man that's been dead for 5000 years, who'd wanna steal a body that's 5000 years old?

My thoughts end there as I turn a corner and spot the hallway that makes up my cousins living quarters, each family has there own hallway, and depending on your rank and how essential you are to the clan, you have certain luxuries. My cousins' family and my family are at the top of the ladder, we each have our own rooms, a bath house, and two extra rooms where we can read or study or whatever you do when you grow up and stop playing. Others though, I kinda feel bad for them we do have non-essentials living with us in the tomb, luckily not too many, they all have only one room to sleep in, and they have to ask permission to use the community bath house. I feel bad for those people, but thankfully there are only a few. The rest are in between and are quite well off, they get their own rooms but they use a community bath and don't have study rooms. There's only one person that really outranks my family, my uncle Tazim is the chief of our clan, but only because he's younger than my dad, who is the 'Ishtar heir' meaning, he'll never be able to go outside and his duty is to the dead pharaoh we guard. It's really a pointless job if you ask me, but I don't have a say in the matter.

"Malik?" I look up and wonder how long I've been thinking about it as Menka sees me, she runs up and hugs me tightly. I hug back and laugh a bit. "I've missed you." I say. She pulls away and smiles really big. "We missed you too! are you ok? did it leave a scar? what was it like?" She asks and keeps babbling until her brother comes out in the hall and drags her away from me. "Shut up sis." He says then turns to me. "How ya feeling Malik?" he says, and he sounds genuinely concerned. I blink in surprise then shrug. "I'm all better now. it was just a snake." I say, he cocks his eyebrow and stares me down, "Mom said it was a cobra, you could've died and that's all you have to say?" He asks, I sighs and roll my eyes, he's just trying to get under my skin, like always. "Well, no. I'm hungry too." I say. Palki rolls his eyes the same way I did. "Well, you missed lunch." He replies, I nod and ignore my stomach as it growls at me.

It's Menka that brings up the risky idea. "Why don't we sneak into the kitchen?" She says, Palki and I both stiffen and look at her like she's crazy, she kinda is. "You know what happened last time, didn't they seal up the hole?" I ask, Manka shakes her head and giggles. "No they just pushed a crate up against it, they have no clue that I'm still getting in." Palki jumps up. "You went on raids without me?!" His voice squeaks. "Well yeah, I mean you were the reason we got caught last time." She says, folding her arms across her chest. Palki grumbles and I snicker then turn to Menka. "You sure it's safe?" I ask. She nods and I chew on my lip, eventually it's a low growl that gets me to make up my mind.

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We keep completely quiet as we hide in a dark hall, just outside the main kitchen, Menka was right, they didn't bother to seal up the hole. "It's too dangerous for all of us to go in, just one." She says, I understand now that we're deciding on who will go. "I'll do it." I say, "Im the one who's hungry." Palki grins and nods. "Grab some sugar cubes for us too." He says, but Menka lightly smacks his arm. "Just get what you need and let's get out of here. I smile and nod then carefully push the crate in until I can slip through.

It smells really good, and I want to hurry so I don't go crazy, but I stay hunched down behind the crate and slowly peek around the edge. It doesn't look too bad, one five have stayed, including the head lady, she stands off to the side and watches while the rest clean up and meddle with other things. I take a quick breath then look out further and spot an unguarded bowl of grapes, my mouth waters and I chew my lip in anticipation. then I turn and look over at the cupboard where I know sugar cubes are kept.

I look back but hesitate when the head lady turns towards my hiding spot, I duck down and breathe softly as she walks by me, then I dare to peek out again and watch her go and pours herself a cup of wine. then she opens the cupboard and grabs three sugar cubes, leaving the door open as she walks away. My stomach growls and I take a chance, I slip away from my hiding spot and reach into the bowl holding the cubes and shove a bunch into my pocket, then I reach to the grapes and grab one vine before dashing back out into the hall, my heart racing the whole time.

Menka laughs as she closes up the hole. "Wow Malik, you were shaking so much!" She says, I look down at my hands to see that she's right. "Took you long enough." Palki snorts, Menka glares at him before taking my hand. "Lets get out of here before they find us." She says, I nod and all three of us rush off to their room." We share the cubes and grapes, I think there's something wrong with the grapes, my head starts to feel fuzzy and for some reason I keep laughing for no reason. "You ok Malik?" Menka's face is really pink as she munches on another grape. "Your face looks really funny." I giggle and bite a grape in half, sucking one the second half until all the juice is gone. Palki is silent and doesn't take any grapes, sticking with the sugar, he's the only one that seems normal.

Eventually the grapes and cubes are gone and I stand up, stumbling slightly. "Malik?" Menka asks, I groan and hold my stomach. "I don't feel well, I-Im going to go lay down..." I reply and make my way out into the hall, everything is spinning and every time I take a step i lean one way or the other and nearly fall.

I make it to my family's hall and walk into the first room, I think it's my room... "Malik?" I look up and see Rishid sitting on his bed, though he gets up when he sees me. "You ok little brother?" He asks, I can't stop the small giggle that escapes me, I feel myself fall but catch myself, landing on my hands and knees. "Malik?!" Rishid yelps and takes me into his arms, "Malik what's wrong with you?" He asks, I shrug and rub my head. "Something was wrong with the grapes..." I answer. Rishid looks at me funny, then something seems to click for him and he sighs and smile lighting up his face. "Dear gods Malik." He chuckles then lays me down on his bed. "Just try and get some rest, you're going to have a headache when you wake up though.

I nod and grab hi sleeve. "Nap with me?" I ask, the room is still spinning and its starting to get blurry. Rishid chuckles again and shakes his head before laying down with me. I make a soft noise and snuggle into him, he wraps an arm around me and I feel my eyes getting heavy. "Love you brother." I say, he replies and I fall asleep.

I learned a very very important lesson that day, as did Menka. when you go on food raids, never grab anything that's could ferment. We stayed in bed all the next day, groaning in pain and hating every little noise and bit of light, the only comfort I could feel was when Rishid came in and pet my hair. I'd smile and lean into his touch while he talked to me, keeping his voice low and gentle as to not worsen my headache, it wasn't the same with Isis, who yelled at me no matter how much Rishid told her to calm down, saying she'd hurt me further. He said I'd learned my lesson but Isis sure didn't think so, and left, saying she refused to talk to me for a week.

I didn't mind though, I had Rishid with me. He's my favorite, I really don't need or want anyone else, I'm happy with him alone.

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**And that was chapter two! next chapter will (Hopefully) be the start of Malik's descent into darkness. Hope you enjoyed, plz review and lemme know what you thought. BYE BYE!~  
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	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3! is out! and here the plot actually starts to begin! sorry I was slow with coming out, but I've been going through a slight depression stage and didn't want to write, I'm here now though and here you go, eat up to fanfic savages!  
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Months have passed, nothing truly interesting has happened, I get up, do my chores, then pass the time playing with my cousins, helping Isis with pretty much anything, just so I can talk with her, or being with Rishid, I like the third best of all, even if we just lay in bed together and doze, I love being with my brother. Don't get me wrong, I love everyone else too, but, there's a special bond between Rishid and I since he saved me from the snake, and we're closer than we've ever been.

My birthday is tomorrow actually, my father's always babbled about how my 'training' will begin once I reach ten years old, training for what? protecting a dead guy? It seems pretty pointless, but like I said, I don't really have a choice in the matter.

I stare up at the ceiling, trying to go to sleep, but i can't, I toss and turn, get under and on top of the blankets, nothing works. I sigh and sit up, staring off into space as my candle flickers. I hate the dark, and I hate not being able to sleep, cause that means I have to face the darkness. A shiver runs down my spine and I grimace, I think I'll go sleep with Rishid... I grab my candle off my desk and step out into the hall, it's even darker out here now that the torches are out, I start to feel a bit sick and run towards my brother's room.

Its still dark, even when I get inside, I pant softly and clutch my chest, I'm so afraid. "Malik?" I look up and see Rishid, he's groggy and rubbing his eyes, i didn't mean to wake him. "Malik what's the matter?" He asks swinging his feet over the side of the bed and stretching his hand out to me. "I can't sleep." I say, going to sit beside him.

"The dark?" He asks, I nod. He smiles slightly and ruffles my hair, "I already know what youre going to ask, yes you can sleep here with me." He says, I look up at him and smile "Thanks Rishid." I say, giving him a hug before we both lay down to sleep, this time I'm out almost instantly.

* * *

_"Stop it!" I cry out.  
_

_"It's time Malik, like it or not you will take this." My father says. _

_"Please no, please let me go!" Tears are streaming down my face as I pull against the ropes that keep my wrists and ankles in place. I'm lying face down, naked on a cold stone slab while my father heats up a knife right beside me. _

_"Please! don't do this to me!" I beg, my breathing is rapid and uneven, my chest hurts and i feel like I'm going to pass out. Father just ignores me and shoves a gag into my mouth. I scream again and again but hardly a sound comes out. _

_"It is a great honor to recieve this mark, today you become a true Ishtar." He says, the knife desends and I scream at the contact._

* * *

"NO STOP!" I jolt and my body spasms for a second. "Malik!? Malik what's wrong?" Rishid's holding me close. I pant and bury my face into his chest. "Rishid." I say, gripping his tunic to make sure this is real. "Thank the gods." I whisper softly, letting myself go limp. I can hear my heart pounding in my ears and I'm covered with sweat.

"It was just a bad dream Malik, it'll be ok." Rishid says softly, stroking my hair. "Youre ok little brother." I nod and pull away, trying to catch my breath."I'm ok." I say, assuring myself that it's true. We're silent for a while, Rishid continues to calm me and stroke my hair as my breathing evens out and I stop shaking. after a while though I realize, I'm not going back to sleep tonight, I think it's the same for Rishid as well.

"I'm sorry I woke you." I say, crawling out o his lap to sit beside him instead. "Don't be, you can't help bad dreams, I'm glad I was here for you." He says, I grin and lay my head on his arm. "You're a good brother." I say.

We're quiet again, staring at the wall together, trying to get ourselves to be sleepy again, It doesn't work real well, and we're stuck like this, drowsy and unfocused, but our bodies refusing to go into sleep mode.

I do become focused, however, when I hear footsteps coming down the hall, they're light and quick so I know it's not an outsider, that's good. I still don't like it though, it's still night, and everyone is asleep, well excuse me _almost_ everyone. I pull my knees up to my chest and stare at the door as the footsteps come closer. I gulp and shrink closer to Rishid,then silently berate myself for acting like a coward and pull away to face whoever is there head on!

The footsteps stop and the door opens, Father is there in the doorway, his eyes land on my and stay. "I thought I would find you here." He says, in his cold empty voice. "Come, it's time to begin your training." He adds, motioning me to come to him. I hesitate, a bit confused, it's still night, why is he starting so early?

"Malik." He says, his voice just a bit louder and sterner. I straighten up and stand. "Yes sir." I say, following him, though I don stop for a moment to turn and thank Rishid for letting me stay with him.

We walk in silence, I try not to show my fear of the dark to father, but keep close to him anyway. We pass several halls and walk through so many corridors that eventually I'm so turned around I have no idea where we are, I've never gone this far into the tomb. "Dad? where are we going?" I ask. He looks over his shoulder at me, his face indifferent, he looks at me for only a moment before looking forward again, I assume he's dismissed my question and walk quietly.

"The time has come for you to take your place as the next tombkeeper." I'm startled by his voice when he finally speaks. "However, you require training to be able to complete your task in full. I'm taking you into our family's private training study, deep within the tomb, it is where you will spend the next two years of your life."

I stop and tilt my head. "Wait you mean, We won't go back to the main level for two years?" I ask "What about Rishid and Isis?" I chew my lip anxiously.

"No, we will stay here, and as for them, they will remain where they are, you cannot have any distractions, so I will be the only other contact you have." Father answers, my mouth falls open and my shoulders sag. "But, but father!" I yelp. He turns to me fully, his face as firm as ever. "This is how it has been for five thousand years, I will not be the one to break tradition. This is how it will be." He states sternly. I wince but bow my head. "Yes sir." I say, and continue to follow him.

W arrive about five minutes later, I'm shown to my room, it's small and cramped, but I don't complain, Father tells me to rest before morning and I obey. It's colder in here and the air is stagnate and stale. I wish I was back in Rishid's bed, but I won't be allowed to see him for two years, I think I'm gunna die from loneliness...

Morning arrives quickly and Father is there, leading me to the main study. I sigh and follow, but the faster I complete this training, the faster I can go back and be with my family.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chaptah FOOOOOOUUUUUUUUR! Sorry, im really hyper, it's basicly *checks watch* 4:30 am, I'm eating hotpockets and letting dubstep destroy my ears so forgive me for being hyper and not even talking about the story, speaking of which hears the next chapter! enjoy everyone! :D**

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I wince as a loud crack sounds through the air, my neck is jerked to the left sharply by the shear force of the smack I've received. Father starts to yell at me, I listen while lightly rubbing the new bruise. I've screwed up once again, but after fifteen and a half month his hitting doesn't hurt that much anymore.

"Can you not even preform a proper healing spell you worthless rat!?" He yells, I nod my head, I can do it, i just got really scared of the way he kept staring me down and mixed up the words by accident. "Can you?!" He yells, grabbing my hair and pulling hard, I squeeze my eyes shut and lock my jaw to keep every wince and yelp inside.

"Y-yes sir. I can." I get out, he lets go and scoffs. "You're useless, I can't believe your mother would give me such a worthless son!" I cringe and clench my fists, letting my nails bite into my skin and draw blood, father doesn't notice and turns away. I stand from the place where I was struck to the ground and feel my eyes heat up, his words hurt more than his hands, especially when he talks about Mother.

I quietly begin to quote the words from the spell book father gave me. there's a soft golden aura that grows around me as I near the end of the spell, and I can slowly feel the bruise on my cheek fading.

I finish the spell just as father turns to look at me, his eyes flash and a small smirk plays on his lips. I grin and feel my cheek, no swelling or pain at all. He nods and grins. "Well done my son." he says, my chest swells with pride and I dip my head, "Thank you father" I reply. he hands me another scroll and with my confidence boosted I preform each spell and recite each scripture without a flaw.

* * *

I collapse on my bed, exhausted and more interested in sleep than dinner. today was a bit rough, but it could've been worse. Father and I have this weird relationship when it comes to my studies. If i do good the first time, he'll praise me and treat me well, if i mess up like today he'll snap and hit me a bit and make me miserable for the rest of the day, but if i try to redeem myself like I had, he'll forgive me, to an extent and the lessons will continue like the beating never happened.

The door opens as father step in and sets a bowl of soup and a loaf of bread on my desk. 'Thanks." I murmur, not even opening my eyes. "You did well today, even though I had to scold you." he says, I nod and open my eyes to look at him. "Forgive me father, for being a nuisance." I reply. He doesn't respond and turns to leave. "Tomorrow, we will begin your training with the holy Kaas, prepare yourself."

I feel a spark light in my chest. 'The holy Kaas.' The most powerful form of soul magic I know. everyone in the world has one, but only those with great power can bring them out and use them. Back when the pharaoh was alive many people could bring their Kaa's out, now they are little more thank myth, save for those sealed away in stone. We guard three Kaas here in the tomb, they're said to be the most powerful ever to exist and only my clan can protect them from the world, and vice versa.

I grin as I lay down and curl up under the covers, tomorrow one of the three Kaas will accept me as their guardian and master. I think this is the first time since my training's begun that I've been genuinely excited. I sleep like a rock, dreaming of what tomorrow may bring.

* * *

The room is brighter than the rest here in the tomb, the three god tablets stand before my father and I, even in stone they are fiercely intimidating. "For your sake, I hope your will is strong, if you fail this, the dark power of the gods will destroy you, and you will forever be remembered as a failure to the Ishtar name.

I turn to look back at my father with a shocked and rather mortified face, 'Pleasant thoughts dad, that'll surly help me through this!' i think to myself, i didn't know this part of the story. I turn back to the tablets and gulp quietly. "Yes father, I won't let you down, I swear it." i say confidently.

Father nods and hands me a small golden knife, and I take it from him with a huff, quickly dragging the blade across my palm before my fear of seeing my own blood and pain can stop me, though a wince does escape me and father notices with a disappointed scoff. I take a shaky breath and smear my blood across the first tablet. "Mighty god Orisis! Come forth and give to me your power!" I call, i wait several moments but nothing happens.

Doubt and fear starts working it's way into my mind, if I'm not found worthy the gods will kill me, I can only pray that one of the next two will find me worthy as their master.

I step up to the second tablet and smear my blood over it as I did with the first and clear my throat. "Mighty god Obelisk! Come forth and give to me your power!" I repeat, trying to show off my courage.

Nothing.

I feel my hands tremble and gulp, again I've been found unworthy, this is it. If I fail now, I'll fail forever. I can feel father behind me, he's on the verge of shear rage at my mistakes. I whimper quietly so that he doesn't hear and make my way up to the final tablet.

I try to get as much of my blood on the stone as I can, though there is not much since the wound is already starting to heal. I hesitate and I try to swallow my fear and forget to take a breath. "Mighty god Ra! come forth and give to me your power!" I yell, my blood pounding in my ears as I desperately wait for any response.

I stare at the stone, my whole body trembling as it lays still, I'm just about to try and run for my life when the stone cracks. I jump and yelp in fear but something holds me in place, I look back to where my father is, but he is gone, along with the tomb. I cry out and turn back to face the stone, no, not a stone. Before me is a proud and mighty Phoenix, feathers gold with creamy sunlight colored tips, the blazing ruby eyes stare down at me as it unfolds it's magnificent wings.

"Child of Ra," Someone says, I look around but no one i there, it takes me only a moment to realize it is Ra speaking to me. I turn to the phoenix Ra and dip my head in respect. "yes?" I squeak, unsure of what I'm supposed to do.

Ra fold his wings and looks down at me, as if I'm a shiny piece of gold, or a gem. "You have summoned me here to serve the greater cause, I have found you worthy son of Ra, I will be by your side until death, use my power to guide others down the already designed path they are meant to follow. I nod and reach out my hand to him on impulse.

My fingers gently brush against the breast feathers and I smile, they're the softest thing I've ever felt, and they're warm as well, i can see the warm light travel over my fingers to my hand, then my arm and the rest of my body until I'm surrounded by this warm golden glow. I gasp softly and close my eyes, suddenly it's starts to burn and I'm overwhelmed as Ra's power surges through my veins and throughout my body and mind.

I can feel all the power taking over me, It's as if I have become a god myself, I feel as if I can do anything, control anyone and do whatever I want. "Child of Ra." I open my eyes to see the light has faded to a darker more sinister shade. "Caution, this power is hard to control, if you cannot control it, it will control you, and eventually destroy you." I nod and realize what I've been thinking, my thoughts were selfish and impure.

"I understand." I dip my head and the light returns to the beautiful golden color before slipping into my soul. I wince slightly at the slight ache it brings but bear with it, i look up to only see the three tablets. "what the-?" I look back to see father staring at me. I blink twice before shaking my head and walking up to him. "Father, I saw-" He raises his hand to cut me off.

"What you saw and heard is for you on;y, no one else is to know." He says firmly. I nod and grin slightly. "Come, your body needs to rest to adjust to it's new company, you may rest for the remainder of the day, we will train your new abilities in the morning." he says, I silently follow him, exhausted but thrilled.

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**Nya! Thats chapter four! hope you enjoyed, please leave reviews they keep me happy and healthy! I'll see you next time! Bye bye~  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here is chapter five! we get to see a little bit of corruption in this chapter yaaaaay! anyways enjoy.**

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I groan as father comes for me, i just wanna sleep, I can't take much more of this nonstop training.

"Malik." Father barks, I grumble and curl up under my covers more. He scoffs and pulls the covers off, causing me to curl up tighter to keep warm. "No..." I mewl. "Malik!" Father snaps, I yelp as he grabs a fistful of my hair and throws me off my bed onto the ground.

"Get up now." He says harshly. I huff but nod and pick myself up, i feel a bit of anger trying to come out but i don't let it, Ra has already warned me.

I wait until he leaves before getting dressed, I pause though when I pull off my tunic, on my chest, where my heart should be is a funny looking mark. It looks like a sword with dragon wings folded over it to protect the weapon. I lightly touch it and wince, it feels like the mark was branded onto me. I don't give it much thought and decide it's a mark of ownership from Ra, then continue to get dressed.

I feel like crap as I walk to the training room where father is waiting, I'm in a really bad mood, I just want to go back to bed. Screw this training, I can protect a dead guy without all this nonsense.

I yawn as I open the door to the training chambers, but a knife cuts me short as it plants itself in the door an inch from my face, there's a rush of adrenaline and my fight or flight instincts kick into overdrive, except, instead of choosing flight like my body normally does, i feel a defensive power take hold and i notice a small golden glow at my finger tips as I grab the knife and point it at my attacker.

"Father?..." I ask quietly.

Father looks back nodding his head quizzically. "So the power of the gods is already taking hold of your body, you're adapting beautifully." He says. I blink and tilt my head. "Is that what that was?" I ask.

Father nods, then takes the knife from my hand. "The last bit of your training will be learning how to use your Kaa's power for battle and defense." he says, placing the knife on the table. "So far, it looks like we'll have no trouble with you bringing Ra's will out and using it to protect yourself. so we can start immediately." he adds.

I watch as father turns away and goes to shut and lock the door, I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this. Father looks back at me, a glint in his eyes as he turns to face me, brandishing a whip.

I gasp softly and take a step back, I don't understand, what have I done wrong!? "Father don't!" I yelp as he draws back. I turn to run but father is faster and I can feel the horrible sting as the whip cuts through my tunic and tears at my back. I trip and cry out in pain as the whip descends a second time. "Father stop!" I yell, trying to get away from the whip. "Please stop!"

Father doesn't listen though and all I can do in endure the pain, wait... no, I don't have to!

I growl and try to ignore another lash then quickly stand and jump out of the way. I Hiss and feel my Kaa's power flow through my body getting stronger with my anger. The whip descends again, but this time, I catch it in my hand, though it still wraps around and cuts my wrist up pretty bad. I don't feel any pain and yank the whip out of Father's grip.

"That's enough!" I shout, glaring at father and using his own whip as a threat. "I'm not going to let you do this to me!" I add with a growl. Father just stares at me, it's then I realize. I wasn't being punished, he just wanted to see me bring my Kaa out. It makes blood boil but I don't follow my Kaa's instinct to attack him.

I try to calm myself down and toss the whip away. This is fucked up. "I'm done." I say, pushing past him and breaking the lock with Ra's strength, then return to my room.

I wince as I pull off my tunic to examine the wounds, they're not deep but they hurt like fuck, and could still get infected. I go to my desk and grab a flask of salve, using it to treat the cuts. How much longer with this crazy training go?

* * *

Seven more months pass, the training gets harder and more intense each day, though I always manage to overcome. I've gotten good enough and can now be blindfolded and tied up, but can still use Ra to see and fight for me. Father seems pleased, and only two months stand between me and the rest of my family, so it's worth it I suppose.

This week has been quite odd though. Father hasn't come for me, there's been no surprise duels, no punishments, nothing. He just comes in to feed me and quiz me on what I've learned these past two years.

I feel really different now, more hostile and determined to get my way, I used to hate living like that, now it just feels normal. I don't worry about getting in trouble if I do something I shouldn't, I an always use my Kaa to bail me out. I also don't think to hold my tongue. My words bypass my brain and go strait to my mouth without any thought as to what they might do.

I look different too. I'm taller, and I've grown out of my baby face, which is good. My eyes are darker too now, more violet than lavender. I've grown a bit of muscle too, because of all my training. Weird things are happening to my body too, I feel weird sometimes and I get upset really easily. I don't understand what's going on, and I don't know if this is normal or not. I don't ask father though, it's not like he knows everything.

Its late in the afternoon when Father finally comes to me with news.

"Malik, prepare to leave, your training is over, and we'll be heading back to the main part of the tomb by nightfall." He says, then leaves without a econd glance.

I straighten up and feel my spirits lift, I'm going home! I'll get to see Rishid and Isis and the others again! I grin so hard that it hurts and laugh lightly. "I'm going hooooome!" I shout happily.

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**Chapter five, done! wooh! hope you liked please review and keep reading! love you guys. Bye Bye~  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six and I have nothing interesting to say! ... Enjoy!**

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It feels so refreshing to be able to walk down familiar halls again, I'm so happy and excited, I can't wait to see everyone again. Father is silent as he walks beside me, he hasn't said a word since he left, and just occasionally looks down at me, but he slows down sometime and stares at my back, in deep thought. I look back at him and consider asking whats wrong, but the words never leave my mouth.

Soon I know exactly where I am, and I don't bother asking permission to go ahead, I begin running immediately, laughing and searching for the dining hall, where the rest of my family will be waiting.

I shout with joy when I see my siblings and cousins, and rush to them, Rishid is closest so I immediately latch onto him and refuse to let go. He calls my name and hugs me close, telling me how much he missed me, while Isis, Menka and Palki gather around as well. I smile and laugh until I cry and bury my face into Rishid's chest, I've missed everyone so much!

Rishid pets my hair and lifts me up, it's crazy, I've grown up a lot but he can still carry me. I grin and look back at the other three, "Im so glad to be home." I say. Rishid grins and ruffles my hair before putting me back down. "We've all missed you too." he says happily.

Isis and Menka crowd me, I tense up and look for a way out, I've been away too long, and now it seems I don't like to be too close to people. "h-hey! Isis! Menka let me go!" i bark, trying to wriggle out of their grip. Either they don't hear me, or they won't listen but Im getting really really uncomfortable. "Let me go!" i get out, trying to pull away. I feel a familiar burn pulse through my veins, shit, Ra is trying to come out.

I growl and grab Menka's arm, digging into her skin with my nails before shoving her away hard, making her fall back onto the floor. "I said let go of me!" I yell, doesn't she understand what danger she almost put herself in?!

Palki is quick to react and pins me to the floor while Isis takes a step back. "Don't you dare touch my sister!" he hisses, I growl and flip us over so that I have the upper hand. "Then tell your stupid sister to not do things that will get her killed!" I snap Menka gasps in the back ground but I dont care, she _is_ stupid for nearly causing Ra to come out. I 'hmph' shoving Palki hard before getting to my feet.

"Malik!" I turn to face Isis, though I'm not prepared for the slap I receive, causing me to stumble back. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" she yells. I take a second to gather my bearings then glare at Isis. "I did it to keep you from getting killed, don't you understand he would've killed you if he came out!? You wouldn't listen to me though!" I yell back. Isis is about to yell something back and raises her hand for another slap when Rishid steps between us.

"That's enough!" He shouts, causing everyone here to straighten up, Rishid hardly ever gets angry but there's no stopping him when he does.

I gulp and look at my feet, they wont understand, the things that have happened these past two years won't make any sense to them, so they only see me as a monster... I've turned into my father. "I'm sorry..." I say quietly, staring at the ground and locking my jaw.

Rishid doesn't acknowledge me and keeps facing Isis. "You should know better, things are different now. There are triggers." He says to our sister, though Isis stands firm. "He had no right to act that way!" She barks. "He doesn't have control over it! he's only eleven!" Rishid yells and uses his hands while he speaks. "Just give him time to readjust, he's been away for two years, people are new again, give him a few weeks and he'll be ok." He says in a quieter tone, folding his arms.

Isis scoffs but nods and turns to walk away, Palki and Menka following close behind. I grimace and try to slip away from Rishid, he's the last person that I want to see me this way.

"Malik?" I stiffen and look back, afraid of what might be there now, will he still love me? I wince at the thought, Rishid is all I have...

"Malik it's alright." Rishid comes up to me and kneels down, smiling lightly while petting my head. "They'll understand in time, they doen't know what happened while you were away." He says in his normal gentle tone. I tilt my head and make a small squeak sound. "But how do you know what happened?" I ask. Rishid just smiles. "I love my little brother, so I did all the digging I could to learn what would happened. I know it was rough, but you're not alone."

* * *

That night, after everyone's gone to bed, I'm lonely. I just got back, and now I have to be alone until morning, this stinks. I sighs and stare up at the roof of my room, nothing's really changed except for a layer of dust on everything, and the room feels smaller, but I guess that's because I've grown these past two years.

I roll to face the wall, trying to force my body to go to sleep, but I have this nagging want to be around someone else, mainly Rishid.

Rishid. I smile and pull the covers up to my neck, Im so happy to see him again, I missed him the most. I sit up and chuckle softly, I wonder if he'd still allow me into his room? Surely not, I've gotten too big to sleep in the bed with him... right? the thought makes me a bit sad, I used to always sleep with him. I sigh and get up, I'm going to be with Rishid, even if I have to sleep on the floor beside his bed!

It's quiet here, I slowly open Rishid's door and step inside. "Big brother?" I call out softly, Rishid moves and I chew my lip. "Rishid?" I ask, Rishid makes a soft noise and sits up, looking toward me. "I'm sorry I woke you..." I say, walking up to him. I sigh and laugh a bit. "Can I lay with you?" I ask, Rishid smiles and nods, moving over to let me have room.

"I've missed having you." he says. "Me too." I reply snuggling closer to him. He wraps my arms around me, one is really close to the bottom of my back and I stiffen as something in my stomach tightens and my breath hitches.

"Malik? are you alright?" he asks, I nod and shift, kind of wanting his hand to move lower. I can feel my face heat up and I try and shift to make his hand fall while being discreet. Rishid looks down at me, one eyebrow raised, then he does something I don't expect. He moves his hand down and squeezes my butt. I arche and mewl softly, feeling my face heat up more and the knot in my stomach tighten.

"R-Rishid..." I say softly, moving to lay on my stomach and he continues to squeeze and grab my ass. It feels really good, but I don't really know why, I don't care i just dont want it to stop. I move again, this time crawling into Rishid's lap when he sits up, I pant softly and lay my head on his chest mewling and moaning quietly. "Rishid..." I call, then without reason, I move up to kiss his lips.

Everything stops then, the room is quiet and everything is still. Rishid looks down at me, a mix of surprise and desire on his face. "Malik?" He asks, I smile and simply kiss him again, his hands get back to work, and one slips under my tunic, to get at the skin. I moan and start to rub against him, he grins and his other hand joins the first, though it moves away from my ass to the front. I tense u, but i trust my brother and moan as he starts to touch my privates, it feels really good.

"Malik." He says, kissing me, I happily kiss back and move with his hands, moaning loudly. "R-Rishid... Rish-id... Rishid." I say his name over and over, the feeling becomes too much and I lay against him moaning and panting hard until finally it becomes to much and a strangled cry tears from my throat.

* * *

Morning comes too fast. I stir slowly and open my eyes to see Rishid, he's still asleep. I smile and move closer to him for warmth, i am naked after all, after what happened, my tunic got all wet and sticky so I had to take it off, neither one of us minded, though it was a bit colder. I smile and watch him sleep though I'll have to go really soon, so that father doesn't find us.

I lean over to kiss his lips gently, then slip out of bed and wrap a blanket around me. I'm happy as I walk to my room, nothing could make me upset. Well, at least until I get to my room. I look around and sigh, nothing seems different, until I notice a scroll on my desk. I tilt my head and walk up to see what it is, I slowly read the parchment labled 'Tomb keppers initiation.' then everything turns cold...

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**End of part six! sorry I'm late guys, I had an FFA field trip then the next week my birthday so sorry that this came out later than it should've. I hope you like, please review, they keep my alive. ok, well Bye Bye~  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7, i hurt and i don't wanna do anything today. bleh, here's another chapter for you guys.**

* * *

"What the hell is wrong with this family?!" I shout, throwing the scroll down onto my father's desk, it rolls off with an obnoxious clatter. Father looks up at me, surprised at my outburst I suppose. "Watch your tone boy!" he snaps then stands. I only harden my glare and clench my fists as a heat wave shoots down my spine.

"What is the meaning of this?" I ask, my voice shrill with disbelief. "Do you really mean to do this to me?!" I bark, feeling my limbs tremble. Father simply scoffs and walks up towards me. "You act as if it's the end of the world." He waves his hand and retrieves the scroll. "You should be honored that you were born into this role." He says.

"You can't be serious!" I choke out, my father is insane! "You're my father, I'm your son! y-you wouldn't possibly do something like that, that would kill me!" I feel my heart pound so hard, i think it's about to jump out of my chest and run off out of fear. Father scoffs again and look at me with a small grin. "My son, you are being far too dramatic about this. My father gave me this honor as I will give to you and you to your son, so accept it or suffer later." He barks.

I shake my head and step back, I can't believe this. Surely this is my father's new, twisted, fucked up sense of humor. There has to be something inside him that is against this! This can't be something he'll really have to do to me! "Malik." Father sighs harshly and turns to face me. "Take a good long look." he turns away then lets his robes fall to his hips.

I can feel my blood freeze and my heart pauses as I stare at the many scars all across his back, covering every inch of skin. "Dad, no..." I feel sick and stumble back as he turns to face me. "No I won't let you do this to me!" I start to yell. This can't happen, i won't let it! I wouldn't be able to withstand something so horrific. "Now stop it." Father orders.

"N-no! I-I cant do that! I won't go through with it!" I start to scream, panicked and cornered. "Enough Malik, before I take a whip to you!" Father snaps and grabs my wrist. Everything snaps inside me. An animalistic cry tears from my throat and I lash out at him, scratching his face with my nails, causing him to release me. I stumble then start to run, I'm not doing this!

I run without any true destination, i don't go back to my room, or even look for Rishid, I haven't got time, I have to get away.

Outside.

Outside, that's the only way I can escape... I have to get outside and just run, Father surely won't follow me out there, it's against our laws. I pant softly and run like a frightened animal, he's turned me into one. The floor has gone from worn and smooth to scratchy and new, I'm heading the right way. Outside! I'll be safe there, free to live the way I want, to be free to be with who I want. Free, just to be free, and safe.

The tomb starts to slope upwards and I try to run faster than I am, I'm so close now, there's new smells and sounds, I'm so close!

"Malik!" I hear father shout and i gasp in fear, no he cant get me, I can't let him bring me back! I keep going, my lungs on the verge of bursting and my legs nearly spent. I see the massive doors that separate me from outside, I'm so damn close! I forget to stop and run right into the heavy wood doors, it hurts but I don't even care, I claw at the locks, desperate to get free, oh why must they be chained shut!?

I start to cry as I desperately work against the chains, straining to get my nails into the holes where keys should go, four break before I start to go nuts and bite at them like a dog whose been beaten.

Everything ends in a moment, Father's hands are everywhere, in my hair, grabbing my arms, and my tunic. He pulls me away, yelling at me while I struggle to get away." No! let me go!" I scream and struggle like mad, clawing at his arms while he drags me away from my only escape. "Please! Let go!" I scream, reaching out towards the doors as I'm drug back down to the main level of the tomb.

I'm going to be killed now, he'll beat me to death or kill me with this initiation thing. What did I do to deserve this life, was there a point where I could've redeemed myself? or is whatever god or gods up there just that cruel? Father throws me to the floor, yelling at me, but I don't pay attention, and I simply brace for what I know is coming.

The second he tears the back of my tunic away I cover up my head and start to cry, the whip sails through the air and lands against my shoulders without mercy. I hold my breath and bite my lip until blood pools in my mouth, I won't make a sound, I won't give him the satisfaction of hearing me in pain.

The beating goes on forever, and eventually it feels like there's more blood than skin on my body, father doesn't stop though. He keeps going until I'm on the verge of falling out then grabs my hair to look me in the eye and says something. I can't hear him though, I can barely see, the beating has taken everything out of me.

Father sneers then drops me and kicks my side once for good measure. I groan and let my eyes close, there's no escape for me, no matter what I'm meant to suffer. I don't have the strength to cry, and instead just stare at the dust on the floor while a bit of my blood trickles into my sight. It doesn't hurt anymore, the pain turned into numbness after about the 20th lash, in the back of my head it signals a warning but I don't care...

I'm ready to fall asleep when I feel the vibrations of someone running come close. There's a shadow then suddenly someone's picking me up carefully, I can tell it's Rishid and close my eyes as his soft hands check me for all my injuries, he says something but I cant hear him and groan softly. He hesitates then takes me to my room, after that I fall asleep and can't remember what happened.

* * *

Two weeks and the wounds on my back have faded into light scars that you can barely see, they hurt though, so I'll always remember what happened. Each day is nearly the same, Father's had me locked up in my room since I tried to run, and only he and Rishid are allowed inside. It's a dreary cycle, I wake up, clean my room, study about what's to come at the end of the month then eat one meal and go to bed.

Depression has been with me since the beginning, Rishid tries to help, but there's not much he can do. I get angry at myself, I've lashed out at Rishid before and I regret it, it's changed me and I don't like it.

If I listen I can sometimes hear Isis or Menka and Palki, sometimes they talk about me, and I can tell that they're afraid of me, they may even hate me now.

The initiation is always one day closer, my 12'th birthday, the day I'll probably die... I sigh and lay under my covers, staring at the wall, I don't feel like studying or cleaning, I've refused to eat four four days now, though Rishid always convinces me to drink this weird stuff, Father made it to keep my Kaa from being able to wake up. He doesn't want me to be able to fight when the day comes for me to receive the initiation. Rishid seems sad as well, I just tell him to forget about me and be happy.

I can't forget though, that night when we laid together... I can't stop thinking about how I felt, how much I wanted to be with him, now it's almost over...

Rishid's been too kind to me, just two days ago he went to my father to try and take my place, I didn't try to stop him and happily encouraged him. I'm a terrible brother... I got what I deserved though, Father denied him and came to hit me when he was finished yelling at Rishid. I wish Rishid didn't love me, he only gets hurt because of me, and everyone thinks he's crazy for still trusting me after the things I've done.

It'll all be over in one week though... then the mistake that was Malik Ishtar will be no more...

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**end of chapter 7.  
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